I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
