So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
