Can Purell be used as lube?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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