Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
