Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't turn off my feet"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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