i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
