Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
