I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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