we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Randomize
