I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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