I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i came on her dog
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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