I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
