It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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