I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
