idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
