I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
