i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
