It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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