Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
