I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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