I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
