Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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