Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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