I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
