New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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