My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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