Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
