so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
