i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He better not be in your backpack
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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