I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
