What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
