it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
