guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
