I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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