Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You made out with two different species that night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
