it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
