That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Randomize
