Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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