I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
