i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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