"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
