Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
