she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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