Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
