the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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