She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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