Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
