apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will be naked everywhere
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
