How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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