we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize