Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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