I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize