Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
