Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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