Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
