Apparently you make a good broom.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
