Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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