i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
