You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
