Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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