i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
