you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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