i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
