i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
